Monday, September 7, 2009

How to be a Pregnant Woman's Best Friend

How to be a Pregnant Woman's Best Friend

Whether you’ve “been there, done that,”
or have never even thought about having kids yourself, there are a few
things anyone can do to be a good friend to a pregnant woman.
Pregnancy is such a unique time in a woman’s life, and it’s filled with ups
and downs, excitement and fears. And most of all, it’s long. Nine
months can seem to stretch out forever. It’s one of those times when a
woman really needs her friends. So what can you do to help your
pregnant buddy?

1. Congratulate her:

Whether it’s her first child or fifth, a long-awaited addition or an “oops
baby,” pregnancy is a miracle and should be greeted with joy. Send a
congratulatory note or card, and don’t worry about sending it too soon. If
the worst should happen and this pregnancy doesn’t survive, you can be
there for your friend too. But for now, share in the excitement and
congratulate the future mom and dad.

2. Obsess with her.

As soon as you find out she’s pregnant, a thousand
questions spring to mind. Will it be a boy or girl? Who will it look like?
Should she keep working, go part-time, work from home or quit? She felt
a little cramp, do you think it’s anything? Should she breast or
bottle-feed? How should she decorate the nursery? Why isn’t her
husband more excited – do you think he doesn’t really want this baby?
What do you think of Ayesha for a girl and Abraham for a boy? You get
the idea. Especially in those early months, before a new mom looks or
feel pregnant, she’s not going to feel comfortable talking about these
things with anyone but a close, understanding friend, like you.

3. Suffer with her.

Although pregnancy is a beautiful time, there are a lot of
not-so-fun side effects. If she has morning sickness, offer up that one
food she can stomach – be it ice cream, dry crackers, soup, whatever. If
she has heartburn, a jug of Tums will come in handy. As she gets bigger
and complains about losing her figure, assure her she looks great, and
say how nice those maternity clothes look on her. Listen thoughtfully to
all her aches and pains and discomforts. Maybe you can’t do anything
about those, but just having someone listen sympathetically
can make her feel so much better.

4. Eat with her.

Once she’s over her morning sickness, now is the
perfect time to share that Triple Fudge Brownie recipe with her. She’s
probably not counting calories, and can’t help that chocolate craving. So
go ahead, meet her for lunch (again) and order two desserts. It may be
the one time in her life she will eat with a clear conscience, and those
calories can’t count for you either, since you’re supporting your dear

5. Shop with her.

DarkOliveGreen]Believe me, as your friend prepares for the new
little bundle, one trip to the baby superstore is not going to cut it! If it’s
her first child, she will be bewildered by all the choices. She will have a lot
of comparison shopping to do, and if you have any experience with baby
equipment, be sure to tell her your opinion about the items. Yes, Epinions
and Consumer’s Digest may rate the BabySeat2000 as the greatest one
on earth, but it also costs $250.00. Tell her about yours that only cost
$75 and works great. She will appreciate the insight. Also, steer her clear
of those gizmos and gadgets that you know won’t be useful. Sure, the
Teddy Bear Automatic Diaper Changer sounds great and looks cute, but
do you really think it’s going to work?[/COLOR]

6. Shower her

Of course since you’ve shopped with her, you know the
kinds of things she needs, so participate in her shower or have one for
her yourself. It doesn’t have to be elaborate; it can be a potluck luncheon
at work, a get-together at a restaurant with friends, or the traditional
ribbons and streamers. No matter what you do, your friend will appreciate
it. Even if it’s not her first baby, what new mom wouldn’t like a few new
outfits or some newborn diapers? As I said earlier, every child is a reason
to celebrate.

7. Then, back off.

As the due date approaches, many moms turn
inward and do their “nesting,” They may not want to leave the house
much, being large and tired as they are. And if she hears one more time,
“Have you had that baby yet?” she is going to scream. So if you do call
her, be your sympathetic self, and give her some ideas of things to do to
pass the time until that baby finally does arrive. Suggest starting a birth
announcement or a baby book. Or help her yourself to unpack or fold
baby clothes, while chatting about other things to take her mind off the
impending big day. And when that day arrives…

8. Congratulate her again!

Make your post-birth visit short but sweet. Arrive with food and you’ll be
greatly appreciated. Cooking is the last thing on her mind. Ooh and ahh
over the little one and assure her that he/she really is the cutest baby
you’ve ever seen. Now that she’s had her baby, yes, your friendship may
change. But since you’ve been such a super friend all throughout her
pregnancy, she will never forget you. And in fact, as the mother of a
newborn, she may need her friends more than ever, just in a different
way. But that’s a whole other article…

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